Restoring Reason
by SubtleBubbles
Summary: When Raphael is captured by the enemy it's up to the family he left behind to pull themselves together enough to get him back alive. Then its a struggle to deal with the memories,both fresh and old- that have come back to haunt them. *New Summary*
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Aw shucks, I wish I owned 'em. I really do. But I don't own the TMNT, they belong fully to Laird and Eastman and Mirage. Same goes for any character you recognize. On with the story now! Hope you like! ^_^**

_**Restoring Reason**_

The night was dark and cold. Clouds covered what should have been a full moon, and the air was still, as though waiting in anticipation for some event. In a laboratory nearly half a mile underground, the happenings were far from silent.

"Get your fuckin hands off o me!"

The scientist paid no attention whatsoever to his prisoner's demand, and continued dragging him to a lab table with iron chains. His captive continued swearing and insulting him vividly, and continued to struggle against his inhumanly strong grip.

Agent Bishop laughed as he slammed his hostage down on the table and began putting him in a full body restraint.

"You are merely wasting your breath turtle." He said, planting one hand firmly on his captive's plastron as he pulled and fastened the chains across his upper arms and legs.

Then he turned to open the drawer in a tall closet. When he turned back, he was holding a syringe filled with something clear. Raphael watched the man with nothing short of hate in his eyes and continued to struggle against his bonds.

He held back a wince as the chains dug into his already bruised skin, and got ready for the worst.

Bishop moved forward and practically jammed the needle of the syringe into Raphael's shoulder. Almost instantly after removing it, a fiery sensation started pulsing through his veins as whatever Bishop had injected him with spread throughout his bloodstream. Raphael couldn't keep from tensing up from the pain, and avoided watching Bishop record notes on a clipboard.

"You damn coward!" he yelled, "I'm gonna-" and he went on for a while.

Then Agent Bishop dropped his clipboard on a nearby table, and grabbed a sterilized knife, which he placed on a tray as he went to his supply drawers and removed syringes, empty vials, and bottles holding mysterious liquids.

He grabbed a cart, and piled some vials and a syringe, and a bottle filled with some light blue solution on it before rolling up the sleeves on his lab coat.

"Let's try this first," the man said in a singsong voice as he filled the syringe.

He saw the brief flicker of worry in Raphael's eyes and laughed again, "This? Oh don't worry, I'm not killing you, I am merely going to do a few experiments, you will take a few tests. It will be Saki's decision whether or not to kill you when I am through and hand you over to him as was my part of the bargain."

Raphael felt a cold hand clutch his heart when he heard the Shredder's name. (That can't be good) he thought (What does he want?)

Bishop watched Raphael's confusion with deep amusement, "You'll see turtle, you will see."

TBC...

**(A.N) Yes it was short, but it is the prologue!**

**So, you likey? Or no? There's a real handy button below that will give you power to tell me what you thought!**

**-GreenPeace49**


	2. Two Weeks Ago

**Disclaimer: *grabs a megaphone* I don't own NinjaTurtles, I don't!!**

_Chapter Two_

In the turtles' home, the mood was extremely tense, and so far, it had been over a week and a half since Raphael had disappeared. Both April and Casey helped Splinter and the remaining three teens search for their brother.

Even Leatherhead and Professor Honeycutt had offered to help look. But everyone had searched and searched, and found virtually no trace of him.

April and the Professor were forcing the others to eat and sleep in order to keep up their strength, but they only searched harder, desperate to make up for time lost while doing said things. Also the free time seemed to only make things worse.

When he was not looking, Michelangelo couldn't help but recall the events of about two weeks prior…

_**-Flashback-**_

"_Jeez Mikey, you are so immature! You read those stupid comics of yours every waking moment of your life, find something to do with yourself." Raphael said, coming into the den where Michelangelo was sprawled out on the couch reading his comics. _

_He ignored Mikey's hurt expression and went on, "I mean there's more to life than reading about pictures that don't exist, and then drawing more stupid pictures!"_

"_They are too real!" Mikey said, stung, "You've seen the Justice Force yourself!"_

"_Yeah, whatever, just get over yourself won't you?" Raphael said, choosing to ignore his brother's statement of truth. "And just because some are real, doesn't mean they all are!" He scowled and left the room._

"_That time of the month again Raph?" Mikey asked quietly, his voice trailing off after his brother's retreating form. He was quiet for the rest of the day, not making fun of anyone and barely eating. Leo asked if he was all right, and Splinter even made him drink one of his herbal teas, seeing as he wouldn't say what was bothering him. He was more his usual self the next day, but he was still rather subdued, avoiding Raphael; and neither of the two admitted to anything when the others confronted them._

_**-End Flashback-**_

Donatello stared at the walls in his bedroom late at night, also dealing with memories and not being able to sleep as he remembered his brother's words only days before his disappearance.

_**-Flashback-**_

_The day after victimizing Mikey, Raphael had gone into Donatello's lab by mistake after training. Donatello came in behind him, but seemed to take no notice of him as he put his Bo aside, going to his desktop to continue working on updating the Turtle Trackers. _

"_How come you never actually show us what you're working on?" _

"_What do you mean?" Donatello asked, looking up._

"_You're always in here wasting time and doing a whole bunch of stuff you never even tell us about. It's no wonder you suck at ninjitsu. I mean-" Raphael smirked, "-you have a stick for a weapon!" he said spitefully._

_Donatello stood, carefully hiding the hurt the words caused him. "It's not a stick, it's a Bo staff. Moreover, you know what I do is not a waste of time. This equipment saves our shells more often than not. Besides, you could at least tell me you want to know more about what I do in here. None of you ever bothered to ask. See, this is a-" _

"_Do we look like we give a damn?" Raphael snapped._

"_Well, you asked, so I thought-"_

"_I didn't ask you anything! And, 'you thought', you can't think, otherwise you'd 'ave known that!"_

_Donatello sat down again, "If you can't think enough to beat Leo when you guys spar, then what's the use?" he said, picking up the tiny turtle tracker he'd been working on absentmindedly. _

_**-End Flashback-**_

Raphael had punched him in the face before whirling around to leave, "_I can think enough for both of us, Mr. Smart Ass."_

Donatello had received a nasty bruise from his brother's blow, and when the others asked him what had happened, he said only that he'd made a careless mistake, and they bought the excuse.

As with Michelangelo, he too became more withdrawn. And he retreated to his lab even more so than ever. He also took care to avoid the others, believing they would only confirm what Raphael had said.

TBC

**_Coming up_...where is Leo in all of this?**

**(AN) So what do you guys/gals think? Worth reading?**

**-GreenPeace49**


	3. Present 2 weeks after prologue

**_Disclaimer: Its killing me dudes...but full ownership goes to Eastman and Laird! (good thing too, actually)_**

_Chapter Three_

Both Leonardo and Splinter had noticed Donny and Mikey's rather strange behavior, and the day after Raphael hit Donatello, Master Splinter advised his eldest to talk to Raphael.

So before Raphael could retreat to his room after training that afternoon, Leo cornered him in the dojo.

"_Hey have you noticed how Don and Mikey seem to be avoiding you?" he asked, trying to be casual as possible to keep from provoking his brother._

"_Huh? Oh yeah, I guess." Raphael said, instantly on guard._

"_Do you realize the fact that your constant bullying is not helping is not helping anyone Raph; can you just stop being so mean? You've got to control-"_

"_Cut to the chase Leo, shell! You know, you are so quick ta point your finger in the wrong direction!" Raphael said, his voice rising._

"_You think you're such a great leader, but why do ya think I don't follow you? What about the mission when you didn't realize the enemy had guns until Donny got shot? What about-" __By now, Raphael was yelling, and Donatello and Michelangelo were listening from the hall, not daring to go in._

Master Splinter had just left to visit Leatherhead and Professor Honeycutt, and Mikey dashed off, knowing that only Master Splinter would be able to stop them from going into "kill-each-other-because-we're-pissed-off-mode" Donatello stayed behind to try and break them up if it went too far.

"_-You treat everyone in your so-called 'team' the same, except that you've labeled us! Mike is the 'immature' one, Don's the 'Einstein', and I'm the 'problem'! Ya think you've got us all figured out? You've barely started, Splinter Jr.!" Raphael turned to leave._

"_What the shell are you talking about?" Leo said, blocking his way._

"_Oh no; don' even _pretend_ like ya don't know!" Raphael actually laughed, "I've heard you and Splinter goin on about me. All about how I'm so 'difficult', how you all would be so much better off without me."_

"_Look Raph, I don't know where you're getting this-" _

"_Well then here's something more for the two of you to bitch about, why don't you just kick me out, huh? I mean, you're nothing but a freakin coward and a miserable failure if you don't even got the guts to tell me any of this!"_

"_Watch your mouth Raphael; I don't think we're on the same page here!" Leo interjected. "First of all, who are you calling a failure? You're always the one who will rush into things and jeopardize all our missions anyway! Are you forgetting the time when you were about to follow Purple Dragons into the hangar that was just about to be completely demolished anyway?" _

If Raphael had been humiliated, the only sign was the deep flush creeping up his face, which had looked rather odd, considering his green skin.

"_Moreover; coward? Who is it that acts like a total head case when there is even the slightest indication of some harmless bug or insect in the same room? Who is it that always acts like an immature two year old? That would definitely be you Raph!" __Leo ducked the blow Raphael had just intended to hit him and went on; his voice rising,_ _"We probably should send you away! Especially if you keep on losing it like this; you've lost all sense of rationality! No wonder Splinter-" he jumped out of the way as Raphael dove at him. _

_The red-masked turtle crashed into a weapons rack but sprang up again, eyes full of rage. "Why don't you go fuck Splinter and be done with it already you son of a-"_

"_Raphael! Leonardo!" Splinter's voice thundered into the room._

Leonardo had stopped short, and looked towards his father in the doorframe. Raphael on the other hand, seemed to become even more infuriated at hearing the rat's voice. He grabbed a handful of shuriken and threw them at Leonardo, who didn't even react to being hit.

"_RAPH!" Simultaneous cries rang out into the sudden silence. Raphael's eyes widened and he froze as he saw the blood on his brother, who was still staring at him with an unfathomable expression in his eyes._

_He turned to dash out just as Leo started after him. Donatello and Michelangelo rushed to hold him back, and Splinter grabbed Raphael's arm firmly, forcing him to look into his eyes._ _But instead of saying anything, he abruptly let go and left him standing there, turning towards Leo as if too disgusted to say a word. Raphael backed out, and ran from the lair, through the sewers, just ran and did not look back._

The cuts from the shuriken hadn't required immediate medical attention, nor were they deep. So Splinter had sent Donatello and Michelangelo out of the dojo before lecturing Leonardo on controlling his temper and not responding to Raphael's antagonizing.

"_If you do not show emotion, your opponent will have less of an advantage over you." Splinter said, "When will you remember this?"_

"_I'm sorry, sensei, I-"_

"_You must learn to control yourself Leonardo. Patience is the key."_

"_I tried-"_

"_Obviously not hard enough." Splinter motioned to the blood still oozing sluggishly from Leo's skin._

Only after that had he let Leo leave for the bathroom to clean and bind the wounds.

Donatello and Michelangelo had tried to ask him if he was okay, and he said he was fine, knowing there was nothing else to say. The truth of the matter was that Leonardo was still bleeding inside. And no one knew.

**TBC**

**_A/N-yes I know Splinter is being weird, but I can't tell the whole story at once!_**


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter Four_

Meanwhile Raphael was starting to wish more than ever that an end would finally come no matter how painful.

Bishop's tests hadn't killed him, not even close. But they had still weakened him considerably. He had been handed over to the Shredder, who surprisingly had not slaughtered him on the spot; instead demanding information on the whereabouts of his family and asking questions designed to lead him to their lair.

When Raphael had refused, point-blank to answer, Saki resorted to all manners of torture possible. Raphael had deduced that either he was hoping the pain would force him to reveal something valuable or he was just toying with him. By now he was assuming the latter seeing as so far, he had been tasered, beaten, burned, and kicked. Not to mention even thrown, and very nearly starved.

At the moment he had just been thrown by Hun into the small cell he was kept in; and the Foot ninja in charge of him were now chaining him to the wall, showing no concern whatsoever towards Raphael's already countless injuries.

As his shackles were being fastened, his throat started bothering him, but as he tried to clear it, he started coughing. The Foot paid him no attention, except to deliver a punch to the teenager's plastron to shut him up, disgusted. Raphael sagged against his bonds, trying hard to ignore the fiery pain in his ribs, and barely suppressing a moan.

All he really wanted was water, or at least a bed or food. At least in Bishop's lab he had been fed, but Oroku Saki gave him minimal amounts of food once every few days, and if he acted up, he was denied even the prospect, not that it would change anything.

He had thought about his chances of ever leaving the place but he knew he wouldn't. (They wouldn't rescue me) he thought, the very idea was laughable. (Not after what I did, not after what they said. Besides, they'll be better off without me, Leo said so. He really is always right. Maybe after Shredder kills me, they won't have to worry about me doing something stupid or reckless)

He watched as the Shredder entered the room yet again, and braced himself for another three hours of agony, accepting his fate with open arms.

_(Two Weeks Later) _

The Shredder pressed the blue button on the device that sent a surge of electricity through wires to Raphael's exposed skin. The turtle tensed up under the leather restraints on the lab table, his back arching, and he let a soft moan escape his lips through teeth gritted from the pain. Cold sweat trickled down his face as the electric charge ebbed away, and he gasped for breath.

"Answer me!" Saki demanded. He slammed another button that tilted the table at an almost vertical angle so that he and Raphael were almost eye to eye.

"M'n-not 'bout to tell you." Raphael rasped, as his frame shook with harsh coughing. He received a sharp backhanded slap to his face and his head smacked back against the table. As he blinked away the stars from his line of vision his mouth was numb, but he could taste the metallic tang of blood on his tongue, something he was becoming all too familiar with.

Shaking his head in disgust, Shredder left the room after having a word with the Foot guard that was still in place even though it was obvious that Raphael wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.

Another group of Foot came and loosened the straps holding him down. They were cautious, since Raphael had knocked out two ninja the day before. However their worries were misplaced, Raphael was in no mood to struggle that day. But that did not stop them from binding his arms to his sides and literally dragging him back to his cell where he was still chained, regardless of his condition.

Raphael couldn't even let his weight be supported by the chains, the only things keeping him upright, due to the fact that he thought he now had several broken bones and the pain of those alone was terrible. He shivered as another fever-induced chill racked his body

If it couldn't get any worse than that, it did. He'd gotten even sicker thanks to being kept in the damp and cold underground dungeon, and he was kept up by the coughing and agony late into the night. He knew, even with fever-dulled senses, that at this rate he wasn't going to last for another week as he was.

Tell-tale moisture welled up in his eyes and he let his chin fall against his chest, not allowing even a single tear to fall from his battered left eye despite the situation. He'd never dreamed he'd go out like this. Fifteen and a half years old, in the hands of the Shredder, broken, and completely, overwhelmingly, alone.

TBC...

**_A.N.- Don't kill me! On a side note, what did you think?_**


	5. Leo's Doubts

_Chapter Five_

"Come on Leo, you've got to eat something!" April said, pushing a plate of sushi towards the oldest turtle who was sitting silently in his chair with a faraway look on his face as the others dug in. He had virtually no appetite, not even for one of his favorite foods, as he thought about Raphael's last words.

Although Raphael had also hurt Michelangelo and Donatello, they had been trying their hardest to not let it show, figuring Leo had more than enough to be getting along with at the moment. They were more right than they knew.

Leonardo had tried to shove aside the memories as he looked for his brother, but the flashbacks played over and over again until he actually believed them. It was all he thought about now, and it threw his mind into far more turmoil than necessary. _You don't have the guts to tell us anything!_ Even as he put a few sushi rolls on his plate, his stomach turned at the thought, and he swallowed hard. Sensing the others watching him, Leo took a bite. Chew Swallow. Chew Swallow. _You are so quick ta point yer finger in the wrong direction! _

Looking up, he saw the rest of the table's surrounding occupants were avoiding his gaze. He caught Mikey's eyes, but the younger turtle averted his eyes to the table the instant after making eye contact. Leo watched his plate; the feelings of unease growing, his stomach tied up in knots from indecision. _You think you're such a great leader! _

He dropped his silverware with a loud clatter, making everyone jump, and he put his elbows on the table, pressing the heels of his palms just above his eyes.

"Um, Leo, are you okay?" Donatello started to ask, though the answer was obvious, but Splinter nudged his arm, and he fell silent.

"Am I really that bad?" Leo said quietly after a moment of silence.

"What do you mean?" April asked. None of the turtles or Splinter had mentioned exactly why Raphael had left home in the first place, and she had assumed that maybe he'd simply needed some time and space to breathe and calm down it wouldn't be the first incident. But judging from the way everyone had been acting while looking for him and the mood in the lair, it had obviously been something far more extreme.

"It's all right; just forget about it." Leo muttered, and took his arms off the table, pushing his chair back and leaving the room silently. Master Splinter gave a deep sigh, excusing himself and following his son after motioning for the others to stay put.

"Guys?" April asked again.

"Jeez, will somebody just say something already?" Casey said exasperatedly.

Finally Donatello spoke up, "All right, so the night he-"

"Well would you look at that?! There's no more napkins!" Mikey burst in and hurriedly pushed back from the table. "I'll go get some more, you know, in case someone spills something. That wouldn't be good. Nope, it wouldn't. I'll be right back with the napkins!" he went on, practically running to the kitchen.

"Well, the night he left," Donatello continued, quicker and in a lower tone of voice, as though he wanted to get it over with. "Leo called him back after training and tried to talk to him about-" here he faltered, "-about some things."

"What things?" Casey interrupted loudly.

April elbowed him in the side. "Ow! Come on babe-"

"Wait until he's done!" she reprimanded, then looked back at Donatello as though nothing had happened, "Go on."

Donatello hesitated before saying, "Just- issues, and stuff. Anyway, Raph went totally ballistic and, well, he said a lot of stuff to Leo…"

"Like what?" Casey cut in.

"Casey!" this time April kicked him under the table.

Casey yelped and reached down to rub his shin, "All right! All right! Just wonderin, sheesh." He edged away from April as the purple-masked turtle continued. "Roughly speaking, he went on about how Leo was a terrible leader and when Leo fought back, he threw a bunch of shuriken at him. Mikey brought Splinter, who left to visit Leatherhead, just before."

"Wait, so Leo threw a bunch of shuri-whatsits at Raph-"

"No, Raph got really mad when Splinter came in behind him, and just grabbed them and, well you know…" Donatello fell silent, clearly not wanting to further discuss the event.

A door slammed in the lair and everyone jumped again. Master Splinter walked in then, looking exasperated, "Where he gets these notions, I have no idea." He muttered.

Michelangelo came back inside right then, without the napkins, "What happened?"

"Um, sensei?" Donatello asked.

"What is it Donatello?"

"Did he tell you?"

"I only know that this behavior is undoubtedly tied in with their disagreement on the day of Raphael's disappearance. It would be well for us to find him before Leonardo allows doubt to control him. Yet I fear he is already doing so. Please tell me my sons, anything that you can relating to this incident."

Donatello bit his lip. He had been the only one to witness the entire exchange and he took a breath. "I'm sorry sensei, I can't tell you. It isn't the right time for this sort of discussion. You got there in time to see that they were both ready to tear each other's throats out though. If you hadn't been there-" his voice trailed off, avoiding his father's eyes.

Splinter nodded wearily, he had far too many questions about the incident but if it was not the moment, it was not. He knew that if it held any vital information that Donatello would have told him before, and knew his son would tell him at the correct time.

He only hoped that they would find Raphael in time before the family started to fall apart. It had been a month already, and everyone was starting to lose hope.

**TBC**


	6. Of Drugs and Realities

_Chapter Six_

The needle seemed to grow more the longer he stared at it, and all the memories of injections he'd had to endure with Bishop were brought up, still fresh in his mind. However no amount of protest was about to keep Stockman from injecting him with shell knows what. Raphael tried to kick the mad scientist away, despite the obvious odds that were against him. It was not enough, and he only succeeded in knocking the syringe out of his hand and sending pain shooting up his own leg. _Oh well_, at least he'd tried.

Stockman laughed and bent over to pick the object up, instead squirting some of the drug into a bottle of water, knowing the substance wouldn't dilute. The water remained clear and he shook it in front on Raphael, whose eyes widened. He was incredibly thirsty for even a drop of water. No matter what, he was going to die anyway, but he wasn't about to succumb to his enemies' power, and he clamped his mouth shut, turning his face away with an effort.

At a nod from Stockman, Hun slammed Raphael against the concrete wall, the turtle's shell leaving a sizable hollow in it, and then covered his face with one of his huge hands, knowing the turtle would have to open his mouth to breathe soon.

"No!" Raphael's yell was muffled, and his throat stung as his voice scratched it. Ignoring the pain he struggled to get free from Hun's grip. He knew he was going down, but he wasn't about to go without giving the enemy some kind of struggle to remember, he just didn't care about whether he was punished anymore. With that revitalizing concept he thrust his head back and bit Hun's finger hard.

The behemoth yelped in surprise and dropped Raphael with a curse; backing up a few steps to nurse the bleeding appendage. The turtle collapsed to the ground in a heap, unable to move from the pain and gasping for breath. Taking his chance, Stockman forced the ninja's mouth open, pouring the drugged water in and kneeing him in the plastron when Raphael refused to swallow. Unable to breathe, Raphael tried to spit it out to clear his airways but Stockman held his mouth closed and he choked it down, eyes watering from lack of air, his chest and throat burning as the substance slid down to his stomach.

He felt the change almost immediately despite the misery. The world around him blurred, and he blinked, trying to focus, but couldn't. He felt like his head was swimming and his stomach churned, trying to reject this foreign substance. _Ugh, that is the last time_- then suddenly his vision cleared.

_Leo?_

"That's me." Leo said, even though Raphael could have sworn he hadn't spoken aloud.

"What are you doing here?" he finally said, finding his voice.

"What do you mean? We're your family aren't we?" Leo said, going over and helping Raphael up.

"You're not-" Raphael shook his head and saw Donatello, Michelangelo, Splinter, April, and Casey standing behind his brother.

There was something altogether strange about their presence. "You're not, really here…" Raphael tried to say, but he was cut off.

"Of course we're here!" Leonardo said. "Can't you feel this?" He threw Raphael from him to the ground.

Taken completely off guard, Raphael tumbled to the floor and winced as his injuries protested. "You're definitely not real." He tried to push himself up but Leo shoved him down again.

"Stop," Raphael protested.

"Aww, can't you take a joke?"

The others laughed, but stopped abruptly when Raphael struggled up again, "That's not a joke." He said, alarmed and confused, trying to back away from them.

"You're right Raph, we're sorry." Casey said, approaching the stricken turtle and putting an arm around his shoulders.

The man's grip started getting tighter until Raphael was sure he was doing so on purpose. "What's your problem Case?" Still trying to get away from him, he fell to the ground again as Splinter walked towards him, a hard glint in his eye and a cold smile upon his face.

"You were nothing but a coward, unable to fight like a true ninja. It was only pity that kept me from leaving you to die in the sewers that fateful day years ago. And I would regret it, if not for the unexpected attachment of your brothers. Maybe now you will have learned your lesson, and never return."

And then he was a rat no longer, but a spider. Triple his own size with venom dripping slowly to the floor below.

His brothers and Casey and April had all undergone the same disturbing changes as well and then bore down on him as he struggled to avoid them, laughing cruelly and spitting insults.

"You're a scaredy-cat!"

"You're worthless!"

"You can't fight!"

"Get out of here!"

Staggering to his feet, Raphael somehow managed to get up and backed away from the others. _It's not real, it's not real, It's not real_, he thought. The familiar dizziness and pure fear and anxiety increasing steadily the more he stared at the huge arachnids, his mouth bone dry, his lungs refusing to cooperate.

"Of course it's real," April hissed, raking her pincers down Raphael's plastron inhumanly fast and hard.

Raphael cried out, more from the disbelief than the pain even as the blood ran sluggishly down his chest. It was just a scratch, really, but the shock was worse than the injury. He fell again, and backed up against the wall, breaking into another coughing fit.

"Just leave already, we're sick of you." Michelangelo said, and he, Donatello, Splinter, Casey and April walked- or scuttled?- away.

Splinter's words from earlier seemed to resonate in the air. _Never return. Never return. Never return_.

They left Raphael bleeding and alone and didn't look back.

Hun and Oroku Saki were helpless with cruel laughter as they watched Raphael struggle against them and the current leader and right-hand man of the Purple Dragons.

Eventually Saki swiped the turtle across the chest with his gauntlet, but not too hard, for he didn't want the turtle to die too fast.

On the floor Raphael was trying to get up again, but just couldn't do so. He was holding on to a chair for balance, but it tipped over and he fell with a crash back onto the ground.

Feeling unnaturally chilled and lightheaded as he coughed, the world rocked back and forth, making him feel extremely disoriented. Everything else, in addition to the pain, was overwhelming. It was too much, and he finally just remained lying on the cold stone floor gasping for breath, not having the energy to do anymore at that point.

"Aw man! I've wanted to do something like that for so long!" the gang leader said, "Thanks Master." he bowed and left, still laughing with his companion.

"Should we take him back my lord?" one of the Foot ninja said.

"Yes, yes. Go on then. And clean him up a bit, don't want to get blood on the carpet." The Shredder said, going over to Stockman. "Very interesting experiment, Doctor," he said, with a nod of approval as

"Yes, it turned out quite well didn't it? The look on his face when he was trying to figure things out, the confusion," Stockman said. "And the hallucinations! If I had known I might have used a more potent form when creating the drug, but this seems sufficient enough for your purposes, am I right?"

"Yes, this formula was far more enjoyable than the last time. I trust he will remember it this time?" Saki said, his eyes narrowing.

"Of course he will, it would be completely against all my time wasted on calculations if he forgot!" Stockman replied, a brief flash of fear in his eyes betraying the arrogant tone. Yet he managed to look affronted as if the idea of failure this time was preposterous.

"Very well, we shall see." Shredder nodded again. "And have you completed your, other assignment?" he asked, eyes glinting with a new malice.

"Almost complete, thanks to the turtle's DNA, everything should work out smoothly. I dare say you will further appreciate my extensive abilities once you see what I can do." Baxter said, his lips curling malevolently.

"Excellent. This one will be gone soon, a pity. I believe we should commence searching for the remaining turtles, it is nearly time for the next phase of the plan," Shredder said, no hint of remorse in his voice as he left the room.

**TBC**

_**A/N: Yes the Shredder is a meanie ain't he? As for his plan, well, you'll find out at the right time^^**_


	7. Not good enough?

_Chapter Seven_

It had been a month and a half since Raphael's disappearance and everyone was starting to lose hope. They had all worked out their own routines in order to cope when they returned to the lair. April and Casey would go back to their apartment to get food and other supplies. Master Splinter would usually meditate, trying to contact Raphael on the astral plane, and Leonardo would disappear into his bedroom. Donatello would discuss possible theories with the Professor and Leatherhead, and Mikey would try to keep people's moods up. But even Michelangelo couldn't ignore the inevitable.

"Do- do ya think we're ever gonna find him?" the orange-masked ninja asked one night after yet another unsuccessful search, eyes shining with tears from the hopelessness of the situation.

"Aw Mike…" Donatello was at a loss as to what to say. He gave his brother a hug as a few tears ran down the turtle's face.

With horror, Michelangelo thought back to one of the last things Raphael had said to him, _(You're such a crybaby!)_ The voice rang in his ears and he forced the tears to stop, pulling away from the comforting security of his elder sibling's embrace.

Donatello started to ask him what was wrong, but then he too recalled his last conversation with Raphael, _(You think you know everything about us you smart-ass, but you don't think we get so tired of you prattling on about who knows what with your stupid so-called inventions? We don't give a-)_ Donatello squeezed his eyes shut at the memory and took a slow breath to try and calm down.

Leatherhead and Professor Honeycutt watched the scene unfold from across the room and exchanged glances. They both knew what was amiss, but as much as they wanted to help, there was a definite limit on what they could do. "They need Leonardo as much as he needs them, but his judgment is clouded with doubt and uncertainty." LH said grimly.

"I'm going to try and see if he might at least talk to somebody about what has been going on." Professor Honeycutt said, and left the room.

As he walked down the hall he could have sworn he heard thumping noises from somewhere as if someone was hitting something. He approached Leonardo's door and knocked on it lightly, not at all surprised that it was locked. The noise stopped abruptly and footsteps came up to the door.

Leo opened the door ever so slowly and only halfway, but Honeycutt could just see a punching bag still swinging behind him. "Would you like some company?" he asked, trying to sound casual and noticing that his friend looked exhausted; he was breathing unevenly-and were those actual tears in his eyes? The robot had never seen Leonardo cry, or in fact show any real emotion at all, and discovered he didn't really know what to make of the situation.

Leonardo hesitated, then took a deep breath and nodded, pulling the door open and stepping back to let him through. The professor sat on the edge of Leo's bed against the wall and examined the room with interest, never having seen its interior.

The opposite wall was covered with posters of anything and everything from movies to bands to even famous martial artists. The back wall was bare except for a narrow bookshelf and a curiously neat desk. The wall in which the door was, extended for an equal distance on either side. On the right side there was a keyboard and on the left, the bed Professor Honeycutt was sitting on had been placed at an angle to it so that it lay along the wall behind him, which had some photographs of the family and friends, and a calendar.

Leonardo had sat down backwards on his computer chair and rolled it closer to the bed, crossing his arms on the back of it and resting his head on them. He remained silent as the professor looked around until the robot spoke up, "Are you well Leonardo?"

Drawn out of his thoughts, Leonardo looked up, "What? Yeah, I'm fine…" he replied brusquely, but the battle raging behind his stormy eyes sharply contradicted his words. As if he knew this, the turtle looked at the ground to avoid having to look at his friend.

"You look troubled," Honeycutt ventured to say, then instantly wondered if he'd gone too far as Leonardo's head shot up.

"Troubled? My brother's been missing for over a month, my family hates me, I can't do a single bloody thing good enough to please my own father who's never showed an ounce of pride in my life, and you say I look troubled?" he laughed humorlessly, shaking his head before falling silent once more.

Professor Honeycutt didn't say anything; intrigued as he was by what he'd just learned, he waited to see if Leo would go on.

A moment later Leonardo looked up, "I'm not cut out for this," he said.

A little voice in the back of his mind was yelling at him to shut up, to stop and remember what Splinter had taught him. _A ninja showing emotion will be more vulnerable to attacks if not focused._ But Leo ignored it and went on.

"I mean, look at me, I'm sixteen. Who do I think I'm kidding if my own brothers won't listen to me? Why does Splinter seem to think that I can actually help, when it's my fault Raphael left in the first place?"

He jumped up and started pacing so he wouldn't have to see the professor's reactions. "He could have committed suicide or something, and we'll probably never know; I know for a fact that he actually cuts himself sometimes, I've seen him do it. Shell, I do the same thing I'm such a fucking idiot!" Leo stopped in front of the robot, tore his wrist guard off and held his arm up.

Honeycutt could see the numerous scars criss-crossing each other across the skin, almost like a child's drawing, before the flustered turtle resumed his pacing, tossing the armor away and rubbing his arm almost self-consciously as he talked.

"A halfway decent leader or brother even, would have tried to talk to him about it, or at least told Splinter something, but I didn't... I-I was just so scared. Yeah I know, Fearless Leader isn't fearless after all, what a let down huh? Too bad for Splinter I guess, he'd probably disown me, but maybe it's all for the better right? I'll never be good enough for him or everyone else anyway. All- all I seem to do is, disappoint."

Leo stopped in the middle of the room, the tears blurring his vision, fighting to get out. He could just barely hold them back. Somewhat shocked at everything Leonardo had been able to hide successfully for what seemed to be his whole life; Professor Honeycutt couldn't find anything to say. He noticed the door of Leo's room was still open a bit and now there were multiple shadows standing outside who had probably heard every word.

He was right, when the others heard shouting, they had all gone up to the door, and heard just about everything they needed to hear to know why Leo had been acting so out of it for the past few weeks since Raphael had disappeared. There was dead silence following the end of Leo's outburst.

Donatello slipped through the doorway and entered the room first; going to Leo's side; and Michelangelo followed him in silence. Leo looked up in alarm as he saw his brothers, and then became aware of the people outside the door. He straightened immediately and rubbed the tears away hurriedly with the back of his hand. "Oh shell. Did-did everyone hear that?"

Donatello and Mikey exchanged glances. "Uh, yeah…"

"You all must think I'm such a pathetic excuse for an older brother." Leonardo said.

Only when he felt a ringing in his ears did he realize that Michelangelo had smacked him upside the head. He looked at his brother and saw fire smoldering in his eyes.

"Mikey!" Donatello reprimanded, drawing the orange-masked turtle back.

"Dear me, I feel like an intruder." Professor Honeycutt said, standing quickly and leaving the room. Donatello shot him a grateful glance.

"Shoo! I believe they are working things out. No call for dropping eaves." The robot said to the others who were congregated behind the door, and they all left, albeit reluctantly.

"Leo, you've gotta stop taking the leadership thing so seriously! It's not like-"

"Mike, listen-"

"No! You listen for once!" the normally laid back and fun-loving turtle was demanding and harsh, something that shocked Leonardo into silence. "Just because you're the perfectionist here doesn't mean that you're responsible for everything! You didn't tell Raph to leave-"

"But I let him go." Leo said flatly.

"So did we," Donatello put in quietly, "but none of us could have known that he would vanish like that."

"You don't understand! H-"

"Then help us to." Donatello and Michelangelo said simultaneously.

It was silent, and Donatello moved forward, putting a hand on Leo's carapace. "This is why you've been acting so out of it? Because you thought this was all your fault?"

Leo nodded, biting his lip and looked at the floor as though ashamed. "It is! Guys, I failed him! Heck, I've failed everyone as a brother and a leader! There's just so many things I should have done. I should have kept my temper during the argument, I should have talked him out of leaving. I should have stopped him, I should have taken matters into my own hands instead of just going to Splinter."

"Leo, no one's perfect-"

"But-"

"But what? It's that simple. Everyone makes mistakes!"

"We don't expect you to never mess up at least once in your life!"

"We're family Leo, not just leader and the lead...ed. don't feel like you can't tell us anything, like you've got to be perfect. Sure you can be strong and support us and whatever, if you learn to ask for help. We can all get everyone through this mess; you don't have to do it alone!" Donatello said.

"Why did you get mad?" Leo asked, looking at Mike.

"I wasn't mad at you bro, I was- No, I am mad that you think you've got to do this alone! You've been hiding things from us for ages! Mikey said, looking rather disillusioned.

Leo fell silent, "Well, that's how it always ends up," he said. At first he thought he'd been too straight-forward until Michelangelo replied, "Change is good, you've said so yourself!"

"You can't do this alone bro, no one can."

"If you'd just let us help-"

"I can't!" Leo burst out. Then, "I- don't know how."

"Well, it's never too late to learn!" Mikey piped up.

The ghost of a smile flickered on Leo's face and abruptly disappeared as someone else entered the room.

**TBC**

_**A/N: Maybe a bit OC, depends on how you look at it, Leo has always been under a lot of pressure when you think about it.**_


	8. A Father's Mistake

_**A/N: Yes I am actualy here, and its not to put the fic on hiatus! It is now vacation(can I get a COWABUNGA?!) and I have revamped the entire fic, no major changes, just a lot of editing that really needed to get done in my opinion, Chapters nine and ten are almost ready to roll and will be up soon, so heeeerrre is chapter eight! Enjoy!**_

_Chapter Eight_

The tentative smile on Leo's face faded abruptly as his door opened wider and Splinter stepped into the room. Wondering why their father's presence made any difference, Don and Mikey glanced between the two with some confusion. The rat caught Donatello's eyes with a meaningful look and the turtle hesitated before nodding with a silent 'oh' of comprehension.

"What's going-" Michelangelo hadn't missed the exchange and tried to figure out what was happening.

"Come on Mikey," Donatello took his younger brother's arm and started pull him out despite the turtle's protests.

"Hey, wait! What about-"

"Come on Mikey."

"But- Ah, ok; fine. Whatever." Michelangelo sighed with frustration and allowed himself to be led out.

As his brothers left, Leo didn't miss the fleeting glance Donatello gave him, but it was impossible to tell what it had meant. The door clicked shut and he knelt swiftly in front of his father, keeping his gaze on the stone floor before him. "Forgive me master. I let my emotions get the better of me and I spoke without thinking. Please don't hold my actions against me. I'm sorry."

He heard a sharp intake of breath, and hesitated for an instant before the rat spoke. "No; Leonardo, I do not come to chastise you." The level of uncertainty and emotion in his master's voice drove Leonardo to look up, caught slightly off guard. Splinter was avoiding his gaze, and he had both hands on his staff, which was actually shaking almost imperceptibly.

"Then why-"

"Listen Leonardo!" the rat interrupted abruptly, making the turtle jump and return his gaze to the ground.

Splinter watched his son with nothing short of dismay in his heart at witnessing firsthand exactly how dire the situation was. He had never meant for his son to feel so trapped. He was at a loss as to what to say next until Leonardo mumbled, "I'm sorry sensei, go on."

"No my son; do not apologize for anything! That duty falls to me." Splinter went on. "Throughout your life you have borne a burden that many die not knowing how to bear. I have relentless in trying to instill lessons of the sort in you, but in doing so my fears for you and your brothers clouded my proper judgment."

Leo stared up at his father with disbelief, _what was going on_?

"I haven't been fair to you. I was always pushing you to the absolute limit in your training ever since you were little and not allowing you to play with your brothers. I did not want to even risk the idea of all of you being alone and leaderless. That fear made me work you all the harder."

The ninja master's eyes were clouded with tears of remorse, but he kept going, knowing it needed to be done.

"I was too hard on you, and in turn you have been hard towards your brothers, though that is not your nature. My teachings provoked a senseless fear in you, of me, and what I might resort to doing if you did not perform a kata a certain way. Had I even showed you an ounce of the love and affection your soul so desperately needs, perhaps you wouldn't be so driven to perfection as I have caused you to become. If I had taken the time to realize this and put it into effect, you wouldn't be at your breaking point under all of this pressure that never should have been yours to shoulder as you have."

Splinter broke off before taking a breath, willing himself to look into Leonardo's shocked eyes as everything sunk in. "For this my son, I am sorry. I am sorry that you felt my acknowledgment and love; were things that you needed to work to earn." A single tear, unnoticed by his son, slid down into Splinter's fur.

With the rat's last words, Leo sat back on his heels, trying to take it all in. He didn't exactly know how to feel, and the sense that most overwhelmed him at that moment, was confusion. "But-but-"

"What my son?"

Leo wanted more than anything for his father's words to be true, but if he told the rat what was bothering him, Splinter would surely be disappointed and scorn him. "It's- It's all my fault!" he burst out. "I tried, master, I really did. But I couldn't stop him, I- I couldn't. And then he left, and I should have followed him, I should have kept my cool instead of lashing out at him. I lost my temper, I didn't mean any of the things I said, and now he's God knows where and- and- what if those were the last words I ever said to him?! I'm nothing but a failure father. I- I failed you." he choked out the last words trying to swallow past the lump in his throat.

He could sense his father approaching, and shrank back slightly, not knowing what to expect. But arms suddenly encircled his upper body, though somewhat cautiously at first, and pulled him closer. He stiffened, hesitating for an instant before giving in, and relaxing into his father's embrace, a decade and a half of pent up grief, defeat, and hostility towards the elder of the two somehow being released through the simple show of affection.

"There was nothing you could have done Leonardo. Do not blame yourself for events that occurred beyond your control. Your actions since then were done with the intention of protecting your brothers, you had no idea. I am so proud of you my son." Splinter said.

With those words, all of the walls Leo had spent years building up to safeguard his emotions crumbled. First it was one tear, then another, and suddenly he was crying like he was two again, holding onto his father as though he were the only thing keeping him grounded. Splinter rubbed his shell, "It is well Leonardo, do not do this to yourself any longer. Shhh, everything will be all right."

They stayed like that for a few minutes, a new bond between father and son having been formed. Pulling away from the embrace, Leo brushed the tears away from his face with the back of his hands, looking slightly abashed at the unfamiliar display of emotion. "Uhm…sorry about that sensei." he tugged nervously at the knot of his mask, referring to the tearstains that now dampened the ninja master's robe.

Splinter waved a hand in dismissal, "It is of no concern my son, do not worry about it."

Leo finally relaxed, feeling as though a large weight on his chest had just disappeared and left him free to breathe again. "Thank you father," he said, a true smile breaking out on his face as he got to his feet. Before Splinter could respond, there was the sound of someone running through the hall and the door crashed open as Michelangelo burst in, breathless. "We found Raph!"

**TBC**

**_A/N: um, cliffhanger?_**


	9. The calm sort of? before the storm

_**A/N: Bet you weren't expectin this were you? Here's chapter nine for you! Thanks for reading and putting up with me everyone!**_

_Chapter Nine_

After that everything was like a blur. The mood lightened considerably in the lair even after they discovered Raphael was in the hands of the Shredder. They immersed themselves in making plans for the rescue at once, and the rest of the night flew by as decisions were made, supplies gathered, theories tested, and tactics reviewed. By dawn the next morning, they were ready.

As much as they wanted to storm the Shredder's headquarters right then and there, they were forced to wait until nightfall, and April convinced the turtles and Casey to get some rest. "You haven't slept all night guys, we won't be any good to Raphael if you keel over, no matter how brilliant the plan."

By roughly five thirty, everyone was up and ready to go. Leo stood a little way apart from his brothers, staring at the Battle Shell in silence. He was so distracted, when a hand came down on his shoulder from behind, he jumped about a foot. It was Casey. "Leo? Uh, its time to go man. You ready?"

Regaining his composure, Leo nodded. "As I'll ever be." He made as if to get in the Battle Shell, but Casey didn't sway his grip. "What?" "Just curious here, why ain'tcha with Don an' Michelangelo? You straightened things out right?"

"Yeah," Leo got a distant look in his eyes and stared at his feet.

"Oi! Back to earth Leo!"

Leonardo didn't want to talk about it, much less with Casey, and he really just wanted to leave and get it over with. "It's nothing," he mumbled.

"Nothin is always something, what's up? An' make it quick, we want ta leave tonight not tomorrow or the week after." Leo looked up and saw the steel determination in Casey's eyes and knew resistance would be futile.

"I know they've forgiven me or whatever for how bad I messed up with Raph, but- ah forget it, let's go."

"No, get on with it!"

Leo sighed, and fingered his wrist guard. "I can't, fail them again! They're all counting on me and if I lead them into this wrong, if I mess up, that's it." He drew a line across his neck for emphasis. "You can let go of me now."

"Not ye-het." Casey said, splitting the syllables of the word. "Look here man, I never had a brother, but you guys cut it as close as it gets. If I were Raph, I wouldn't blame you for straightening my sorry ass out, or at least trying to. And getting myself captured, you didn't make it happen; heck I'd be freaked out if you had something to do with it though. The point is, Leo, not everything is under your control. And you're gonna have to learn to live with it, otherwise you're gonna shave like ten years off yer lifespan with your, _control-complex_ or whatever this is!"

Casey let go of Leonardo and stepped back, "So…yeah I let go of ya." he said, rubbing the back of his neck with some chagrin and waiting for some sort of response from the turtle.

What he didn't expect was for Leo to start laughing.

"Uhm, is that an evil laugh or a ha-ha laugh?" Michelangelo said, appearing at the end of the Battle Shell and leaning out.

Casey backed away slowly, "I don't really know…" he said nervously as Leo approached him, still chuckling. The blue masked turtle punched him in the arm good naturedly, "I have a control-complex, huh?" he said with mock annoyance before grinning, "I needed that, thanks Case."

"Uh, you're welcome?" Casey tried to figure out if the comment was genuine or not.

"When you guys finish your Dr. Phil session, you might want to consider attending a rescue mission, very enlightening, I promise." Michelangelo said, sharing an expression of relief with Donatello regardless.

"Sorry guys," Leo climbed in the back.

"Wait, Casey!" April dashed forward and gave the vigilante a peck on the cheek. "For luck," she said, flushing slightly before turning to the others, "Good luck you guys!"

"What, no goodbye kiss for us?" Michelangelo cried. Donatello moved to smack his brother, but Leo stopped him, "Allow me." he said with a grin before smacking the turtle upside the head.

"Owww! Whaaat?"

"We'll let you know as soon as everything is set." Donatello promised while Casey was clambering on board, still in somewhat of a daze until Michelangelo whistled, which led him to pin the turtle down, "She's taken man, no googly-eyes."

Leonardo and Donatello exchanged looks and simultaneously rolled their eyes as the two started wrestling. "We'll be waiting." Honeycutt said, as Splinter broke up the brief tussle. "Is everyone ready?" Leatherhead called from the driver's seat.

"As the Ancient One would say, hit it!" Splinter replied, straightening his robe. "Thank you Miss O' Neil, Professor. We are most grateful for your assistance.

April and the Professor heard Michelangelo groan as Leo and Splinter closed up the back doors, "Sensei, is there anything the Ancient One _wouldn't_ say?"

April laughed, before rethinking the situation. "I hope nothing happens to them, to any of them…"

"They'll be quite all right Miss April, I daresay they are more than ready to deal with whatever life throws at them." Professor Honeycutt said, trying to sound as reassuring as he could with a robotic voice. They watched the Battle Shell drive into the twilight, then returned to the lair to get ready.

**(Meanwhile) **

It was decided that Splinter and LH would remain in the Battle Shell while the others looked for Raphael inside so that if emergency backup was needed or someone was hurt, they would be fully coherent and ready to help. Once they had gotten this straight, they all waited for night to fall completely. The vehicle was silent, you could hear everyone breathing. The first star appeared, and Donatello grabbed his Shell Cell to call April.

Michelangelo started shaking where he was seated against the wall. "You okay Mikey?" Leo asked with concern, drawing everyone's attention to the nunchuk-wielder.

Mikey nodded and tried to stop, but he was just so keyed up… "Oh shell." he hugged his knees to his plastron.

"What's up?" Casey said.

"Michelangelo relax my son." Splinter advised.

"I- I _can't_." Michelangelo said, ashamed of himself, why was he breaking down like this? "What- what if we don't find him? We don't know for sure he's there, and- its been so long…" he bit his lip. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm- just- _augh_!" he dropped his head to his knees.

Silence filled the armored car again. Hesitantly, Leo walked up to his brother and sat on his heels, reaching over to rub his shell, "Relax Mikey, just relax."

"I-"

"Shh, slow down your breathing- loosen up some bro!" Leo was completely unfamiliar with the practice of comforting someone, that was usually taken care of by Donatello, and sometimes even Raph. With a mental sigh, he tried to relax himself, and just kept on talking to Mikey. The others pretended to be otherwise occupied, even Casey taking the hint. Gradually, the trembling stopped, and Michelangelo looked up, taking a shaky breath. "Thanks Leo." he whispered.

"No problem," Leo tugged at one of his brother's mask tails before he stood up. "He's right though," he added, facing the back wall of the Battle Shell. "We don't know if he really is there. We don't have any physical proof."

Confused, everyone else looked at each other, alarmed at his mood. But Leo turned towards them before anyone could comment, the determination and old stubbornness in his eyes behind the blue mask erasing their doubts.

"But you know what? Raphael will be alive, even though I'm not even totally sure that he's there. That's the reason we're here though isn't it? To find out if this is all true. One way or another, this is still the Shredder's doing, and we are going to teach him a lesson he'll never forget!"

Donatello and LH clapped appreciatively, and Mikey and Casey whooped in approval. The atmosphere was bursting with newfound energy and confidence. "Leo's got his groove back!" Michelangelo got up and clapped him on the shoulder.

On the edge of the scene, Splinter was nodding in silent acknowledgement.

Leo's eyes met his as if to ask (How am I doing so far?) The rat's eys plainly stated (You're getting there.)

Donatello picked up his Shell Cell for the second time and dialed. "April?"

The van was quiet with anticipation.

"We're ready."

**TBC**

**_A/N: And so it begins._**


	10. Storming the Keep pt1

_**A.N.- Yes, summer vacation is good! Here comes chapter ten!**_

_Chapter Ten_

Maybe it was just luck, or just the careful planning, but after Professor Honeycutt hacked into the security mainframe, everything proceeded smoothly. Too smoothly, Don thought as April directed them towards another way up.

"Don't cha think someone would've noticed we're here by now?" Casey asked.

"Be on your guard," Leo said. "That way if someone does notice, we can take care of them."

"All right now we're talkin."

"I feel like they already know we're here though," Donatello said, "This just isn't right." he added tensely.

"Lighten up guys, and enjoy it while it lasts!" Mikey spoke, back to his original self now, and throwing an arm around both Casey and Donatello's shoulders, making them jump.

"Guys this really isn't the time or place for this," Leo said, looking back at Casey about to pounce on the orange masked turtle.

"Uh, yeah, sorry man." Casey's face flushed, "We there yet? We've been wanderin around fer ages!"

"Almost," Donatello replied as they entered a familiar floor.

"Good thing those weirdos decided to mutiny on Shredder, this place still gives me the creeps," Mikey shuddered. "Lucky the elevator's still here though."

"Everybody in!" Donatello waved them all in, and they started the last leg of their journey to the Shredder's headquarters.

***

It had been four long days since the first time Raphael had been drugged, and now he was hallucinating constantly. Come to think of it, it might have been four years and he wouldn't have known the difference.

Most of the time he'd see his family and friends, who bullied him and scorned him constantly. They always turned out to be spiders, sometimes even roaches or beetles, swollen to ridiculous proportions, and worse, they would swarm over him. He'd be able to feel each and every pincer and clawed foot, and the eyes! It felt like they stared right through him, mocking him.

The rest of the time it was the voices. Just the voices of people, looming through the endless grey fog, and he would be trapped in its swirling depths, unable to move, even breathe. It was pure misery. He reached the point where he just didn't care anymore, and waited for the irreversible fall into the void.

He weaved in and out of terrifying nightmares and reality which wasn't altogether different in between doses of the drug that forced icy tendrils through his veins and spells or delirium. On the fifth day, he heard a terrific commotion down the hall that went on for a few minutes before fading into silence. It was loud enough that the Foot soldiers guarding him had gone to join the fight, and didn't return.

Once that happened, he knew it wasn't real, the guards were most likely standing right next to him, as usual. No use in getting imaginative now, he thought, and slipped back into the earlier gloom, not looking forward to the fresh drug injections that would probably take place any second.

However he could not have been more wrong.

***

A couple of hours earlier, the turtles and Casey had reached the top floor and successfully gotten rid of the Elite. And then suddenly it was just them, and the Shredder, who stood motionless a few yards in front of them, his face hidden by his mask.

Leo stood at the head of the group, swords at the ready. "Shredder you've been messing with our family since before we'd even formally met. But this crosses way over the line!"

The Shredder was silent for a brief moment; then he laughed. "I regret nothing, turtle, only that you came all this way for a lost cause. But I assure you the time is near, when you will regret having even considered not joining my forces." With that he drew his sword and attacked.

The others made to surround him, which would have been effective, had he not already expected the maneuver and blocked their attacks with apparent ease. Changing tactics, Leo came at Saki directly, faking an overhand cut but swinging both blades in a deadly arc towards the Shredder's unprotected side-clang.

Two swords clashed against one. "Fool did you think you could so easily defeat me?" the villain hissed, throwing Leonardo back with such force and catching him by surprise; that the turtle crashed into a stone pillar. His head smacked into the stone and he saw stars, very nearly passing out.

"Leo!" Mikey cried, turning towards him.

"Mike, look out!" Casey yelled from the ground as the Shredder moved to strike Michelangelo in his distraction.

Donatello darted forward and shoved his brother out of the way before blocking the cut that would have ended Mikey's life. The Shredder gave a roar of outrage as the sword became deeply lodged in Donatello's bo, and both adversaries struggled to dislodge the other's weapon, giving the others a chance to regain their footing and then charge the Shredder as one, taking advantage of the current predicament.

Saki fell to the floor, momentarily overwhelmed, but then he brought his sword over and behind his head. Donatello was jerked forward and he let go of his weapon to avoid being impaled on the Shredder's sword. The momentum was too great, he was thrown through the air, and he didn't have enough time to right himself before slamming into the ground some distance away.

He literally bounced once from the force of the impact, but when he landed a second time, agony fired up his left arm and bright lights flashed into his vision. It was all he could do to keep from passing out.

Leo, Mikey, and Casey barely noticed, having cornered the Shredder. The evil man looked them each in the eye, "You need only to wait, for the hour is close at hand." Suddenly black smoke billowed through the air, blinding everyone temporarily. They heard the Shredder laughing, before being knocked to the ground. However being unable to see they were powerless to stop him.

The smoke cleared a few moments later, after they had felt their way over to the windows and thrown a few open. Grabbing his swords, Leo turned to leave and hunt down Saki, but Mikey stopped him, "Leo he's gone, let him go for now."

Sighing, Leo sheathed his swords, but the feeling that something else wasn't right lingered like a cold shadow.

"Wait, guys, where's-" Casey started to say.

"Donny!" Michelangelo dropped his weapons and made a beeline towards a motionless shape on the floor.

Leonardo and Casey exchanged horrorstruck looks before following suit. The situation quickly turned out to be anticlimactic, as Donatello was sitting up under his own power, and seemed pretty coherent. "Sorry, got the wind knocked out of me is all," he said sheepishly before wincing as Michelangelo threw his arms around him with relief and causing him to withdraw his hold instantly.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Leo asked automatically, as the turtle hugged his left arm to his plastron.

Donatello fidgeted slightly under everyone's stares, "Well, I landed on my shoulder when Shredder threw me. But it's only a sprain, I'm pretty sure."

"Dude, ya-" Casey started to say.

"Guys, we've got to find Raph; I can bet my shell he's a lot worse than I am! Besides I can still move my arm- let's go!" Donatello rolled over onto his good arm and got to his feet. The pain made him a little woozy, but he managed to hide it and look impatient. His brothers exchanged looks and Casey gave him one of disbelief.

"All right, whatever you say Donny," Leonardo said a moment later, handing Donatello his weapon, which was lying a few feet away from where he'd landed. "Here, okay guys, where do you think Raph could be?"

"Oh, I don't know Leo, maybe we should check and see if they've hidden him in their basement tied to a chair!" Casey said sarcastically.

Leo glared at him.

"Hey! Sorry okay, just sayin' this place is huge how're we ever gonn-"

"That's it!" Donny said. "Someone get April on Shell Cell quick!" he added, forgetting that his own was in fact on his belt.

Michelangelo whipped out the device and within moments, April had answered, "Mikey what happened? Have you found Raph yet, is everyone all right?"

Donatello motioned for Mikey to hand him the headset for the phone and the turtle followed suit, shooting a confused look at the others. "April, it's Donny, we're all fine, listen-" suddenly there was a flash of light in the main room, followed by the unmistakable crash of thunder, making everyone jump.

"Don the lights just went out!" April exclaimed, "Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, the systems should still be on at the lair, It's not storm related or anything. Just, wait a few minutes and the backup generator should set in." There was another streak and another crack of thunder and Donatello winced as the lights flickered. "Can you put the Professor on?"

"Sure."

"Hello?"

"Hey Professor, can you hack into the intercom system and scan the for the Shredders voice? You've heard it before right?" Don said, looking around just as the loudest roar of thunder yet resonated in the room and everything plunged into darkness.

"Aw Shell."

"Leo!"

"Mikey?"

"Casey?!"

"Who was that? Don?"

"Who was _that_?"

"Ow, watch where you go Mike!"

"Do you guys smell smoke?"

Everyone fell silent and Professor Honeycutt's voice floated into the room from the speakerphone on Mike's Shell Cell, "What happened, are you all right?"

"The power went out." Donatello replied, his voice even as he fished out a flashlight from his duffel bag. "It's okay, we'll call-"

"I did find him just before the power failure however."

"Really?" A spark of hope flared.

"Yes, he was on the twenty-second floor, but I heard him mention evacuating the forty-seventh floor to-"

"Thanks! Thanks so much Professor, we'll get back to you." Donatello hung up and shone the flashlight around so they could see. "Hold on, where's the smell coming from?"

"Up there," Michelangelo pointed at the low ceiling, where they could already feel intense heat starting to emanate.

"Uh, isn't that where-"

"Oh shell."

"Get out of the way!" Leo said, herding the others to the door just as there was a BOOM and they were all knocked off their feet by the blast as the windows imploded and the ceiling caved in, bursting into flames.

_TBC..._

**_A.N- Uh-ohs...Cliff! I always wanted to write one of those^^_**


	11. Storming the Keep pt2

**AN- Thanks very mucho to all my readers and reviewers it makes my day to see you enjoy what I'm writing^^ **

**This chapter took me a lot longer than expected, I didn't realize how much it takes to write battle scenes :P But enough of that, it was fun to write, don't you just love when you have the scene pictured like a movie in your head? Even if it takes ages to put it in words. All right now enough of my babbling, heeere's chapter eleven!**

_Chapter Eleven _

For the second time, smoke started spreading throughout the room, thicker and more acrid than before. Michelangelo thought he heard someone cry out but then he saw the orange flames already licking at the rubble and his first priority was getting out. The smoke was making his eyes water, and as he made his way towards what he hoped was the entrance he saw a dark shadow which he quickly recognized as Donatello. He ran over and helped him up, leading him out the doors and into the hall away from the fire.

"Thanks Mikey." Donatello said. Mikey looked around. _Where was Leo? And Casey?_ He didn't realize he'd spoken aloud until Donatello replied, "I- think they're still inside."

"Oh, man," Mikey moved as if to charge back in, but before Donatello could stop him Casey emerged from the cloud of smoke with Leonardo, who was coughing hard and sporting a deep bleeding gash that ran nearly the full length of his right arm.

The turtle pulled away from his friend, doubling over and pressing a hand into the wall for support, coughing even harder.

"Easy bro," Donny patted his brother's shell.

Leo felt humiliated as he tried to catch his breath. He wasn't supposed to be holding them all back!

"What took you guys so long?" Mikey asked.

Casey removed his hockey mask, revealing a smoke-streaked face. "I got stuck under some piece of the roof, and your crazy brother here tried to lift it," despite the choice of words, Casey shot a grateful glance at the ninja, who had just about regained his composure, though Michelangelo was still watching him anxiously.

"I'm all right," his voice was hoarse and his throat was raw with pain, but he could breathe for now, and that was of the essence. "Come on, we should start moving," he motioned towards the fire. "What happened, Donny?" he asked, as they made their way towards a set of stairs.

"The backup generator must have- Leo stop right now!" Everyone froze and Leo looked at his brother- who was rummaging in his duffel bag- with alarm.

"What?"

Donatello tossed a roll of bandages to Michelangelo. "Mikey, wrap that around his arm, staunch the bleeding."

Leo dodged Mikey and leapt to the next landing. "No, you guys can't! Raph needs those a lot more than I do." he protested.

"And if you pass out on us from blood loss or getting that cut of yours infected, you won't be any use to him at all." Donatello replied, pinning Leo effectively against the wall with his bo and ignoring the pulling in his shoulder.

"Who says Raph is gonna need those anyway?" Mikey said.

The eldest turtle caved in to his brothers' reasoning and allowed Michelangelo to wrap his arm. "Thanks."

"So what happened?" Casey asked as they kept going.

"Like I was saying, the backup generator must have been struck by lightning; it's the only real reason for the lights going out before the explosion." Donatello concluded.

Casey whistled, "Man, I hope it starts rainin."

"Isn't there a sprinkler thing though?" Mikey asked.

"There should be, but seeing as how the power went out… I'm surprised Shredder doesn't have another backup though," Don added, rubbing his shoulder with a wince.

"You okay Donny?" Leo noticed.

"Yeah, don't worry. At least it's not dislocated or anything."

"So the Professor mentioned the forty-seventh floor?" Casey asked a few moments later.

"Yup, I really hope he was right." Donatello replied, and the words hung in the air as they continued on in silence.

At last they made it to the door labeled 47 and stepped into the hall. "So what's the plan Leo?" Mikey said, looking as excited as they all felt.

Leo thought for a second longer. "Okay, so Mikey, you come with me to search the right side of this floor, Don, Casey, you take the left. I'll call Splinter and LH just in case we need backup or anything to keep them ready. Any questions? Don are you absolutely sure you can-"

"Leo, it's just a sprain! I know my own limits!" Donatello protested.

"Okay, okay!"

They searched every inch of every room behind every door. "No trace of him?" Donatello asked as Casey made his way down the hall.

"Nothing," Michelangelo responded from his end of the line via Shell Cell. "Don't you think it's a little weird they aren't guarding the place? I mean there-"

"Well Mikey, seeing as how the building's on fire and it's about one in the morning…"

"True."

In the background Donatello could hear Leo start coughing again. "Is Leo okay?" he asked. Casey waved at him from the end of the hall, nothing.

Mikey paused, "Hold on, he's around the- oh shell."

"What happened?" Donatello asked, hearing the excited change in his brother's voice.

There was rustling and static as Leo took the phone, "I think we found him, room 518, get yourselves over here pronto." The line went dead.

Casey approached him, having managed to overhear the last few words. "Jeez Leo, don't worry about our navigational skills or nothing-"

Donatello sighed and walked up to a sign that read:

_Rooms 508-518--_

_--__Rooms 519-539_

"Oh," Casey flushed, and then pulled on his hockey mask. "Let's get goin then!" They broke into a run, and ignoring the throbbing in his shoulder as they reached Leo and Mike, Donatello beat Casey to the question.

"Where?"

Leo motioned for them to listen, and Hun's voice was heard clearly even through the closed door. "Frankly, I like you freaks better like this, where you can't cause any trouble. I don't know why the master was so interested in keeping you alive, and guarded too! It's not like you're about to even try to leave this place, psh, like you can. As if anyone would want you back, you know they don't."

Mikey was shaking again, but this time with fury. And Donatello couldn't believe his ears.

"I'm gonna _kill_ the giant bastard," Casey whispered darkly, his behavior not surprising the others.

"Back to earth now Case, you'll need a clear head." Leo admonished, though he secretly agreed. "Here's the plan. _Listen_ Casey, you can beat people up when we get in. Try to take down the Foot first, I can bet there's a whole horde of them in there. Don, I want you to find Raph, get over to him and make sure Hun or anyone else can't get to him."

Donatello nodded solemnly.

"If you get a chance call LH and Splinter to let them know what's happening, they need to get ready." Leo finished, and sighed, mentally preparing himself. "Got it, guys? On three. One, two, THREE!"

It was either the head of one of Casey's golf clubs, or Mikey's nunchucks that smashed the lock off, but the door crashed open regardless and revealed roughly twenty-five fully armed Foot ninja. The room was a lot larger than expected, but there was no sign of Raphael or Hun, sending their hopes plunging.

As the Foot attacked, Leo felt numb with shock, only defending himself instinctively. _A trap. I've led them into a trap. This is all my fault._ The realization that they'd come all this way for nothing distracted him for a fraction of a second. Unfortunately the ninja behind him dealt a heavy blow to his shell, catching him off guard and forcing him down to all fours. The sharp pain in his arm snapped him out of it like a slap to the face and he rolled over, grabbing his opponent's wrists and flipping him over his head.

Suddenly there was a roar, and as Donatello turned to look, Hun entered the room through what seemed to be a well concealed door at the other end. "You again? When will you stop meddling in everything?" he yelled, shaking a fist. However he didn't move from where he was.

Casey yelled and started fighting tooth and nail to get to the man, but was quickly overwhelmed by the ninjas surrounding him and fell back. Mikey and Leonardo found themselves in the same predicament, but Donatello back his shell up against the wall behind him and with his bo knocked the oncoming Foot out of his way. Ducking under a tonfa, he leapt at Hun.

Struggling with the behemoth, he could see into the room behind him. "Raph," he whispered, "RAPH!" he yelled it out for the others to hear.

Spinning around, Leo saw the turtle barely holding his own. He spotted Mikey as being the closest. "Mike!" he called. Michelangelo yanked a Foot ninja down and scanned the room, looking for his brother, who motioned towards Hun, "Keep going!" Leo shouted.

Mikey nodded, kicking another ninja in the face and using his nunchucks to knock yet another unconscious.

It didn't take long for Hun to break through Donatello's defenses thanks to the element of surprise the sight of Raphael had caused, and he slammed the ninja against the wall just as he had done to Raphael previously. Donatello let out a strangled sort of cry, his vision going red with the pain.

"Donny!" Michelangelo cried out, breaking through and catching Hun unawares, causing him to let Donatello slide to the floor where the ninja promptly passed out as he landed on his shell.

The behemoth turned and was met by a nunchuk to the face. Snarling he shook it off and attacked Michelangelo.

To make matters worse, it still hadn't started raining, for some reason the building's structure remained intact even as the 47th floor started to burn.

Leonardo was fighting hard, but the gash on his arm started bleeding again; saturating the bandages from earlier. The heat was unbearable, and sweat was dripping into his eyes, blurring his vision and making his eyes sting worse than the smoke that had started to drift into the room.

Casey was trying to keep a grip on his anger as he fought his way over to the others, adrenalin fueling his efforts. Suddenly something smacked hard into his head from the right, knocking him off balance. He stumbled, shaking his head to try and clear his vision. His adversaries stepped in closer, bringing him to his knees.

Leo saw his friend fall to his knees and tried to help but blows out of nowhere started raining down on him, foot tech were surrounding him. Panic started overtaking him as he remembered his last experience with extremely similar odds. As he looked around he saw Donatello was still unconscious and Michelangelo was still fighting Hun, slowly being overwhelmed.

Just as it seemed it would all end right then and there, there was a huge crash from the entrance and everyone, including the Foot and Hun, stopped to look. A considerably large hole was in the wall, and brushing themselves off of rubble were LH and Master Splinter. Brandishing a fire extinguisher in each hand, Leatherhead started spraying at the invisible Foot that had responded to the new threat quicker than those visible.

Leo could see white splotches moving around and with renewed vigor started taking them down. Splinter was fighting with everything he had. He knew there was no way he could he could keep his sons from getting injured, but for everything they had undergone in the past few months, someone was going to have to pay, and those responsible were all that kept him from reaching his sons.

Recovering from the initial shock, the Foot started fighting again, but the odds were turning against them. LH made his way over to where Casey was on his knees and helped him up. Together the two successfully incapacitated their group of Foot ninja, Splinter was helping Leonardo fight off the Foot Techs, and suddenly the enemy stopped coming…was it over?

Far from it, for Hun now held a dazed Michelangelo in his hands, and Donatello was barely starting to stir at his feet. Looking up at the room's only fully conscious occupants, Hun sneered and suddenly vanished behind a cloud of smoke. There was a loud thud, the floor shook, and someone shrieked, something else clattered to the floor.

"Mikey!" Leo stumbled forward, trying to see through the smoke.

"Hun you cowardly piece of-" Casey was furious.

"Calm yourself Mr. Jones." Splinter placed a restraining hand on his lower arm. The smoke cleared and there was a rush of cool air, it became what had happened.

Donatello was on his feet, swaying behind the motionless form of Hun, who was out cold, Donatello's Bo lying a few yards away.

"Nice one Don," Casey smirked.

Donatello gave a half-smile of sorts before groaning and clutching his shoulder, falling to his knees.

At the same moment, the others heard a whimper from the corner and Michelangelo was limping heavily over to them a grimace of pain marring his features. "Mike!"

Leo ran over to him and supporting the turtle, led him over to the others. "Are you hurt Michelangelo?" Splinter asked, while Leatherhead knelt next to Donatello.

"I- I heard my ankle snap, no joke, owwww." He winced. "Thanks Donny I thought I was done for-I'm sorry Leo, I should've-"

Leo shushed him, "No Mike you did great."

"Yeah don't worry about it right no-yeouch" Casey said after helping him to sit down and taking full notice of the injury, "That looks bad man."

"Gee thanks Space-Case." Mikey said.

"I take it you have not found your brother?" LH said, looking up.

Both Leo and Casey froze- "Raph!"- before making a mad dash for the back of the room past Splinter and Donatello.

They quickly found the hidden doorway and burst through. Leo couldn't believe his eyes, he used his swords to slice through the chains without a second thought and Casey caught Raphael below.

"Yes,_ YES_!"

"Raphy!"

"They found him!"

"Raphael!"

The others shouted aloud from the other room. Noticing for the first time how frigid the room was and the stillness of his brother's body, Leo's thoughts went wild.

Casey looked up, "He's alive! Leo he's alive!"

Reaching forward, Leo put a trembling hand on Raphael's neck and felt a pulse, weak and racing, but present all the same. "Yes," he breathed, it was over, they had found him.

"Yo Leo, some help 'ere?" Casey was grinning from ear to ear.

"Let's get him out of here," Leo said at last, sheathing his swords.

They carried Raphael out to the main room and set him down carefully. Michelangelo pushed himself up higher to see better and Splinter moved forward quickly, "My son," he whispered.

"We did it guys," Leo said, overwhelming relief overriding the exhaustion.

Splinter placed his hand on Raphael's brow, his own furrowing for reasons unknown, "Let us leave this place," he said, his expression clearing.

_TBC_...

**AN: This would have gone on longer but I cut it short so I could give you guys a chapter before my sophomore year starts. Well actually it starts on the 24th so you'll probably get another chapter before the chaos known as school. On the bright side the next chapter will just be that much longer^^ Thanks again to everyone who reads and my reviewers! Hope everyone has a great school year^^  
**

**-G  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**_Thanks so much to my readers and reviewers, I love you dudes and duettes! *hug*_**

_Chapter Twelve_

"I second that Sensei; ouch!" Mikey yelped as the pain spiked up his leg.

"One moment, we aren't going anywhere, until we've at least wrapped that ankle of yours Mikey." Leo said, before catching sight of Donatello. "Don what's wrong?"

Everyone turned to look at the purple masked turtle, who was leaning against the far wall for support hunched over slightly as he cradled his arm to his chest, the tails of his mask falling around his face.

Leatherhead placed a hand on his friend's shell, "Donatello?" Slowly the ninja looked up, "Mnhm," his face was startlingly pale.

Suddenly Mikey remembered, "Oh no, Hun- he-" Leo and Casey exchanged looks of horror with him as they remembered. "Sensei he's hurt his shoulder," Leo said, stumbling forward.

Donatello tried to wave him off but winced openly. "No…don't-" he tried to say.

"Donny!" Mikey tried to get up from where he was, but Splinter held him down, "Do not move my son you will only make it worse." He admonished, though his tone lacked conviction.

Already Leatherhead could hear the telltale sirens in the distance, most likely heading towards them. "We should leave now, we cannot risk the authorities finding us," he said, scooping up Raphael carefully.

"How're- we gonna get downstairs?" Casey said, grimacing slightly with the twinge in his ribs.

For a moment they paused. "I can- still walk…" Donatello rasped.

Mikey shifted uncomfortably, "Yeah, don't worry about me, I can-"

"You crazy? You like, shattered your ankle Mikey, don't even pretend like you can do that." Casey managed.

"I'll help ya bro, come on Case, let's roll." Leo said. "Should we try the elevator? It'll be a lot faster I think." He added carefully.

They all glanced at each other before leaving in the direction of the elevators. "Why didn't the building collapse?" Casey suddenly said, as they waited to see if the elevator would work. "I mean we're on the 47th floor-"

"Brilliant observation Casey," Mikey said sarcastically.

"Shut up you, I mean, wouldn't it-" Casey was cut short as the elevator bell gave a ding and the doors opened. "Something's gone right!" Mikey said.

"Donny do you think it's safe?" Leo turned to his brother.

Slightly more coherent, Donatello nodded, "I think we can afford to try it. But we'll have to go down in groups."

Casey snorted, "Yeah, this one here needs the whole car to himself if we don't wanna end up at the end of the shaft."

"Hey!" Mikey stuck his tongue out.

"Psh, don't bite the hand that carries you Mike."

"All right that's enough you two. LH I think you and Raph should go in first." Leo said matter-of-factly.

No one argued with the statement, wanting to simply leave the place and not return.

"Guys you can put me down you know, I won't fall apart," Mikey said as the elevator went down.

"No, we have to get out of here ASAP; besides there's not enough room Mike." Leo said; truthfully he would have been grateful for the break though he'd never admit it.

There was silence for a few moments as they watched the numbers flashing above the elevator doors. Everyone tensed up as the elevator arrived at its destination. The doors slid open and they winced as smoke billowed into the shaft.

"What's happening?" Mikey asked, before starting to cough.

"Where do we go?" Casey added, trying to see through the thick gray fumes.

"This way everyone," Leatherhead emerged, wearing a wet rag over his mouth and taking Michelangelo into his arms before motioning for Leo and Casey to hurry up.

Leo had already been having a difficult time breathing, and the smoke made it even worse. It was all he could do to stay upright and keep walking behind the enormous reptile as they made their way to the exit.

Finally Leatherhead kicked the emergency exit door open and they were met by a spray of cold rain and hail- the earlier thunderstorm had turned into a hailstorm- and the beautiful sight of the BattleShell, courtesy of the remote that had remarkably remained intact throughout the fighting.

Blinking rain out of their eyes Leo and Casey clambered in and LH set Michelangelo on the floor before jumping out again and slamming the back doors of the armored car shut. He got in the driver's seat and the engine roared to life a moment later. With a squeal of rubber, the BattleShell tore off, Foot Headquarters vanishing from sight behind them.

-

They had just made it off the block when the authorities turned onto it, and were greeted by the most perplexing fire any of them had seen. There were flames roaring from the top three or four levels, but then there was only one floor in the middle of the building from which smoke billowed out of windows. If that wasn't odd enough, the first floor was-

"Burning." Fire Chief Brady muttered disbelievingly before turning to his team. "Well I'll be damned. Tim, have you got any word from dispatch about possible persons still inside?"

"Nope, they say the call was anonymous and didn't specify." A young man with a mop of now limp curls on his head, yelled over the wind. "Called from a private number too, can't trace the location."

"All right folks, let's move in." Brady called, waving his men over to the double doors marked with Saki's company emblem.

-

"Donny, does it hurt a lot still?" Mikey asked suddenly, looking across the van at the morose turtle as LH drove as fast as possible within the law.

"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt as bad anymore," Donatello replied, smiling for his brother's benefit even though

Leo saw right through Don's lie, but didn't bring it up, they were all badly off. He still couldn't breathe normally; his chest was really starting to bother him. He winced and coughed into a fist to try and make the feeling go away, but to no avail.

Donatello frowned, "Are you still having trouble breathing?"

Leo hesitated for a fraction of a second before nodding, "Yeah."

"I had some oxygen masks I was messing with a few days ago, they might still be in here," Donatello trailed off, looking around and getting up despite Splinter's word of warning as he tried to remember, "How bad is it?"

Before Leo could respond, they hit a particularly bad section of the road and Donatello stumbled, falling to one knee with a low hiss. Casey started to get up and Leo leaned forward, "You okay Don?" Then the vehicle skidded to the left unexpectedly and Casey lost his balance as well, tripping over Don and crashing to the floor, jostling Raph's leg in the process.

The van screeched to a halt just as Raphael's eyes flew open and he sat up so fast it took everyone in the back a few seconds to notice the fact. The back doors flew open just as he lashed out and knocked Donatello, who was nearest to him, into Michelangelo's seat, eliciting a surprised yelp of pain from both turtles.

Both Casey and Leo leapt up, and LH didn't move from where he was standing still holding both doors in case Raphael tried to make a run for it.

"Raph!" Mikey cried, not sure how to react in the present situation.

Raphael backed his shell up against the wall despite the agony. He didn't know why he wasn't chained to the wall this time, but he knew it had to be another hallucination regardless of the lack of iciness in his veins. In the beginning, he'd been rescued and even made it to the "lair", before realizing it was all fake.

So there was no way this was actually happening.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! How many times do you want me to say it!" he cried, holding his head.

Casey and Leo moved forward simultaneously, trying to calm him down, but he only grew more agitated. "S-stop it!" he gasped, withdrawing further.

Leo and Casey exchanged confused looks with the others. "Guys try and stop him, he shouldn't be up at all." Donatello managed to say, eyes wide.

"My fault, I know already, can you stop rubbing it in?" he didn't have it in him to get mad and fight back anymore; he just wanted it all to _end_.

"It's your _fault_? Raph, what are ya-"

Leo motioned for Casey to stop. "Raphael it's really us, you're safe now; they can't hurt you anymore. I- Everything is going to be all right." He wanted to murder Hun for the terror in his brother's eyes as they flew from person to person in the BattleShell.

"My son, please believe us." Splinter said, getting up slowly to try and approach his son.

"I-I-" Raphael was confused. He almost _wanted_ to believe them, but he couldn't understand where such a notion could have come from. Then he noticed something a little odd. There was blood on "Leo's" arm, bruises on "Casey's" face and tears in "Splinter's" robe.

_Huh. No one ever got hurt no matter what I did before._ He thought. And- funny- he could hear the rain and chunks of ice hitting the roof, feel the engine running as LH went back to the front to start towards home with a new sense of urgency. _Maybe…_

"Raph!" Casey's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

The commanding tone was horribly familiar and he panicked; it was too much, the pain, the confusion. "I-I-" The expression in his eyes was unreadable and they rolled back in his head as he passed out.

Catching him before his head hit the floor, Leo's hand flew to his brother's neck to check for a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief after feeling a weak but existent heartbeat. Then he realized something else.

"Don, he's _cold_."

Donatello hadn't moved from the floor where he was now sitting cross-legged. "More blankets under the passenger seat." He managed to say.

"They gave him something. Drugs to make him see stuff." Mikey said in a defeated tone of voice, sounding small.

"Raaagh!" Casey turned and slammed both fists into the side of the car. "I wish I could just-" he sighed and slumped to the floor.

"Yeah Case, same all around." Leo said with a grimace as he put a hand on his chest to try and relieve the discomfort. The others didn't see him, but the difficulty faded out again.

"He's in shock, this isn't good."

"I'll say he was shocked!" Casey broke in, "Did anyone see how-"

"No Case, I mean he's _in shock_." Donatello repeated, careful to keep his bad arm close to his body as he examined Raphael more closely.

"Aw shell; are we home yet?" Michelangelo called to the front.

"Almost Michelangelo, how is everyone doing?" Splinter looked back over his seat at his sons and Casey.

"Raph's not good at all sensei, we _have_ to get him warmed up; these blankets just aren't cutting it." Donatello said, hiding a wince.

After what felt like an eternity later, Leatherhead turned into the abandoned warehouse. There was a rush to get everyone out of the van and into the "elevator" that led down to the lair. Splinter supported Donatello, LH carried Raphael, and Casey and Leo both helped Michelangelo limp to the doors. They were all silent as they went down, and suddenly the doors slid open.

They all had a split second glance of the lair's interior before hearing a shriek, "You did it!" April sprang into view, clearly relieved even as Leatherhead strode to Donatello's lab with Raphael.

"I've been so worried about you all, first you wouldn't answer the ShellCells, then the signals just started wavering and I pretty much lost you guys after the blackout-"

"Miss O'Neil, your enthusiasm is much appreciated, but we have not succeeded without a price. They are all injured and in need of rest." Splinter managed to interrupt; smiling gently to make sure April knew he wasn't irritated.

April blushed, "Sorry Splinter," she apologized; letting them all move in before taking a closer look at the guys. "How's Raph?"

"He's in shock. They were keeping him in a freezer of a room; I'd be surprised if there wasn't hypothermia involved as well." Donatello said dully, "I felt the air when I was fighting with Hun. No telling how bad he's hurt, there wasn't enough light to tell properly."

There was a grim silence following his words.

**TBC**

**_(A/N) Wow it took me awhile didn't it; but I finally got this chapter up! I realized I backed myself into a corner, and tried to fix it, heh. How'd it turn out? _**

**_-G  
_**


End file.
